im still not over it yet.
im missing him everyday.
im feeling lost without his presence in my life.
i dunno what i could do..
cliques,thanks for company in school.or else,i don think i would be even smiling.cause this is too much a blow for me to handle.
i dunno how could i react.
sometimes i even hope that the clock could turn back.
i regreted for my decision that morning.
i hate myself for hesitating.
if i did go in the morning...haix.
he will always be in my memory...
i miss his smile,
i miss him calling out for me.
i miss going into that room..
i miss seeing him hugging the pooh bear..haix.
that was his favourite bear...
i still miss him afterall..
seeing his smile everyday could brighten up my life.
but now,my life seems to be very dull without him anymore.
im always feeling lost.haix
what is all that i could do is only missing him...haix.

cliques,thanks for consoling me.
i still need much more time...
i enjoy each and every of your company everyday.
it would at least help me feel happy when im in school.
thanks for the company today,Yvonne.

after a few months,im back to blogging again..haha...
many things happened within this few months..haix..
o-level is over and its a happy things..
but sometimes when i thought of those problems,i will be sad...
it hurts me to see him like this,but what can i do??
things in life sometimes is just hard for us to predict
who will knows what will happened next..haix..

i realise its long since i blog..haha..
just feel like blogging all of a sudden..
holidays are so boring..haix..
but friday is the best..
i think i had much fun that day...
doing fruit tarts with my mum,aunt,uncle,sister..
its just so fun..haha...
hope my cousin also had fun that day cause its his birthday..lol..
happy belated birthday!
its fast,sunday yesterday and he went back to army already...
im sure days passes very fast..haha...
and a few more weeks will be prelim..
and im now still hoping to go out always???
what the hell am i thinking ??lol...
always asking my aunt to go out for shopping..haha...
today was the release of the mt o level results...
haix...scared to know the results..haix..
hopefully,days will be fun..if not i will be bored at home..haix..
not forgetting i have to mug and mug...

i realise i was so different from my cousins and sister..
only when exams are near,then i was nervous and started to study..
whereas they were always mugging and mugging months before the exam..lol..
just so different,maybe i should change my attitude..which i hope i will...
don't wish to let my parents down..haha...
another thing which i was looking forward,
was the DESIGNING of my new study room at my new house which is gonna be afetr 'O' levels..
how i hope time could past fast..hahha...
can't wait to move to my new house,and with the permission of my parents,my sis and i decided to design our own room for studying and sleeping..OMG!!!can't wait for that day..haha...
my uncle sugegsted the use of the walkie talkie when i move to the house opp them..HAHA...
my dad agreed...LOL..cuz this can actually save money..HAHA...
it seems very fun sia..HAHA...
but i have to wait till its after o...LOL..
but i think i should fork out some money too...for the designing of the room...cause its just unreasonable of me to ask my parents to pay right?
cause it will gonne be ex...so...i HAVE to save and save..
so my saving time is here agin!!!!!

now in com lab 3 blogging instead of doing my coursework..LOL..
cuz cher is not here..HAHA..
seems to be having some mood swing today,...just kind of feeling irritated...haix..
i should be happy....but im not..haix...
its just feeling of tiring for me..
what's more i had know the truth of some things..
i did not expect you to be such person..forget it...
I will just try to be happie..hahax

yesterday was not a good day for me..haix..
things happened as and when they like.
and i could not stop it..
your words had hurt me...
it led me thinking of many things..
thinking of the past,and my tears just flow..
im very sad by it...
but i am glad i have the support of my bestie..
I LOVE YOU!!!thanks for being there for me.
at least,maybe after this,i realised many more things..
i will not dwell on the past anymore since its over.
I need to be strong no matter wgar happen.

Thanks to someone else too..
thanks,your words had let me realise about many things...
we knew each other for 5 years,and i can say that you are still a good friend,no matter what happens.
i appreciate u as my friend,though i did not mention..
sometimes i really pei fu you,cause u can take things in your stride...i salute u for this..
how i wish i could be like you..
after all,THANKS for the chat too.

My bestie:
I just wanna say I LOVE YOU!!!
you are always there for me no matter what,that makes me very touched..
thanks...im sorry to disturb you yesterday!.
but thanks for everything...
i really duno what i can say to express my thanks to you...THANKS :)

im sad...but what can i do???
haix...just so disappointed..
what had happened exactly??why is it like this?
i dun understand why??
i put in effort,but this is what i had gotten...haix...
these few days aren't just in the mood.
feeling somekind of irritated sometimes..haix...
im sorry if i flew my temper at you...
thinking of forgetting it and just let it go..but i kept reminded of it..haix..
but sometimes its hard...im just so disappointed...
i wish to have some quiet moments now..haix..
i hope i will not be reminded of it...haix.

yesterday had an advanced birthday celebration with my family..
but i just dun seem to be happy?maybe because of this matter that had affected me..haix...
putting on a fake smile yesterday...its tough for me..haix..
IM just so SAD now...haiX...
if you know what happened,i hope some of u can just keep quiet about it..
cuz i dun wanna see those hyprocrites to be so pretentious..
(you think its a good excuse by just saying that?)

remedials,extra lessons after school...
and its so tiring....
so pressurise,so stress with everything...
i just cannot cope with things sometimes...
just dunno what i can do...
stress is in me..haix...
sorry friends if i had disturbed all of you..haix...
im so confused with many subjects now..but i need to buck up..arghh...
how di i??when i am always out shopping during my weekends...arghhh?